My Bloody Valentine 3D Review

Aarrrgghhhh, he’s coming right at me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Did that sound rude?)

Synopsis – Some minor goes psycho after an accident on Valentines Day and kills a load of folk. 10 years later, he’s back to haunt the small town on, funnily enough; Valentines Day………….or is he?????

My Reaction – **Insert yawning sound**. The only thing this horror film did new was to be filmed in 3D. Although, I had a right laugh with the experience of watching an entire non children based film in 3D.

Plot – A very basic and tired plot so you can focus on the sensation of feeling like you’re in the film, and having stuff chucked at you! When you discover the intended plot twist at the end, you’ll be able to list at least 6 films where something like that has happened before.

Acting – What acting???? The gay character from Dawsons Creek (I only refer to him as being gay cos I can’t remember his name, I think it was Jack) is the only recognisable face, and proves why he hasn’t been given much work since that terrible, yet very addictive show.
If you’re sad like me you’ll recognise Jensen Ackles (who is the other main character) as Jason Teague off of Smallville, but he doesn’t do anything special worth mentioning.

Cinematography – I shouldn’t really count 3D as cinematography, but they use the 3D to their advantage throughout.

Direction – I think this was director Patrick Lussier first (and hopefully last) attempt at directing. Unless it was his decision to do it in 3D, he also does nothing worth a mention. Lussier should have removed parts of the film when people get the genius idea to go look for the big bad killer, unarmed, by themselves, at night and down a dark mine – WHO WOULD DO THAT!!!!!!

Best Bit – Probably has to be a bit at the very beginning when a dead body is dripping with blood, but the amazing 3Dness (is that a word) makes it look like its dripping on the person sat in front of you head. O, and 3D s*x is interesting to watch (sorry Mum if your reading this).

To Sum Up – Possibly the least scary “scary” film released for a while. However, as my friend Steve said it will probably be one of the worst films with the biggest box office revenues. Worth a trip out on an Orange Wednesday for the 3D experience.

Score – 5.5 Thumbs up out of 10, purely for the 3D effects.

P.S. – I had to pay £2 extra for the 3D glasses, which apparently won’t work on other films. – I will hire them out at £3 a go!

P.P.S – I get this horrible feeling there will be a Saw type set of sequels on Valentines Day to come! I do hope I’m wrong.